🌋 The Floor is Lava
📋 Today's Tasks
✅ Wake up
✅ Question existence
⬜ Touch grass (cancelled - grass is also lava)
⬜ Be productive
(404: motivation not found)
📊 Important Data
According to our research, 100% of things touched by lava become not-things. This is a peer-reviewed fact. The control group also caught fire.
🎯 Pro Tips
Tip 1: Don't move your cursor. Oh wait, you already did.
Tip 2: The lava is inevitable.
Tip 3: Refreshing the page is not surrendering, it's strategic retreating.
📰 Breaking News
LOCAL CURSOR DECLARED HAZARDOUS. Scientists confirm: "Yeah that's definitely lava." More at 11, if the newsroom survives.
💬 User Reviews
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "My screen is 40% holes now" — Dave
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "I tried not moving my mouse. I failed" — Sarah
⭐ "Everything I love is gone" — Anonymous